A hypocrite, I am

Of all the things that surprise me the most about motherhood, it’s how many times I’ve had my ideas about parenting change once I actually experience a certain phase with our kids.
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First, I said I’d never have our kids sleep with us. Not because I thought there was anything wrong with it, but because I’m a pretty light sleeper and I knew a baby in bed with me would prevent me from ever resting more than 10 seconds at a time. BUT, as Logan became the normal newborn at about 6 weeks of age, I cried from the sleep deprivation. Why could he nurse himself to sleep and then those eyelids flew open as soon as I put him in the crib? What could he possibly need at 2:00 a.m??? So the first time I laid down on the futon with him next to me (only because I thought I would seriously fall asleep standing up and drop him…), he slept soundly for 7 hours. Now I might be slow to catch on at times, but I’m not completely stupid…and thus, the child came to bed with us for about 2 months.
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Then, along came Carter. And, because I already had one child, I was pretty sure I had figured out all of the errors in judgment from the first child. I just planned on this kid coming to bed with us from the start because I had learned my lesson. Oh, no. Carter would have nothing to do with it. He HATED cuddling, nursing, or just plain being close to another human being (ever try to nurse a baby that doesn’t want to be close??? It has its challenges.).
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And of course there’s the other issues…spanking or no spanking, when to reward behavior and when not to, when to give in and when to stand my ground, stay up late or sleep in late, nap or no nap, candy or no candy, intervene or let them fight, video games or not, television as a babysitter, nag them to do something for 20 minutes or just do it myself…I’ll stop there. Every time I think I have a plan…those boys of ours change the game. Someday, I shall learn to be truly flexible…
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That being said, I stand humbled by my own ability to change my mind once again. As I posted earlier, I had begun to have second thoughts on not finding out whether we were having a boy or girl. Not sure why. I truly wasn’t even tempted to know the first two times. But, I also didn’t want to be too impulsive and find out on a whim and regret it later. I really have been hormonal and mentally unstable with this pregnancy (more than normal, that is). But, after two weeks of wondering, I called the doctor today and found out. My intuition was right. We are very excited to know that the Yankees décor in the nursery will serve its purpose yet one more time. We are having a boy. I almost giggle out loud when I type that. Three Magee boys in our house…what adventures! We have once again been spared the drama of a little girl (which is probably for the best; Ryan and I could NOT agree on a girl name!!!). I can’t speak for Ryan, but I am not disappointed. I admit I always thought I’d have at least one of each...maybe that will still happen or maybe that’s not what God has planned for us. This might be our last baby. It might not. But for now, we’ve got three boys and that suits me just fine. We don’t have most of our tiny baby clothes anymore, but we’re good for 9 months and older, so that works for me as well. I think Ryan was scared his wife would take out another mortage on the house buying girl things...
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On other thoughts, kudos to Carter for earning his toy on Sunday. He did well for 7 days (actually, 9 now but we’re not keeping track on the fridge anymore). It felt like Christmas at our kitchen table. He was very pleased with himself, as he should be.
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We’ve also nearly completed moving the boys downstairs. I have most of their clothes in the closet now and the bathroom downstairs has officially become theirs (translation: you might want to stick to using the bathroom upstairs when you visit…Carter’s aim is a little off). Still waiting on the closet rod and I need to make a curtain or two yet, but then it’ll be finished.
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I couldn’t remember what we had for baby toys anymore (I tend to thin out our toy situation once or twice a year), so I dug those out of the crawlspace. As you can see, the boys have regressed to babyhood…

Discipline issues...

So, as of late, our beloved Carter has had a certain discipline issue that has had to be dealt with a little more aggressively than usual. And although part of the process involved taking out the "attitude adjuster" we also incorporated a bit of positive incentive as well. As I was shopping for a little friend's birthday present, I picked up a small toy for Carter. And, of course, as soon as I brought the bag into the house, Carter started digging in it and asking who these things were for. Two were for his little friend, but then I told him the third thing was for him. BUT, he had to do a certain something for 7 consecutive days before he could open it. The race is on. We've now finished day 3 and so far, so good. In the meantime, this box goes everywhere with Carter...all over the house, in the car...even to bed. He constantly tells me how much he loves his new toy. Imagine when he can actually open it!!!

Night #1...sleeping with the box.

The sticker chart (here with just one sticker, but now has THREE!)

So we'll see how this all plays out. Ryan and I don't buy the boys much throughout the year because they always seem to have too much just from their birthdays and Christmas. Drastic times call for drastic measures (or something like that...)

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We took the boys to Ice Age 3 on Sunday. It was alright. I preferred "Up" myself. But, they think it's a treat to get popcorn and their own lemonade...and we enjoy it because they both can actually sit through an entire movie (minus 3 bathroom trips for Carter). On the way home, Logan thought we should make our own movie theater at home. One of those "great ideas" that a mother hopes he forgets about in the days to come. However, we did stop by the post office today and pick up a couple of boxes. And while Carter and I were running errands, Daddy and Logan proceeded to make movie theater boxes, paint job included. They decorated them with stickers when we got home and of course, had popcorn and lemonade with a Blockbuster rental before bed tonight.

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Logan couldn't manage to stop chewing popcorn long enough for a picture.

Not sure why Carter looks so terrified...

As for Ryan, he's spent the last 3 weeks (and will spend the next 4 weeks) eating, sleeping and breathing his upcoming sheep hunt. After knowing this man for 14 1/2 years, I've only seen him make a list twice...for his sheep hunt 2 years ago and for this one. It's also the only two times I've seen him pack neatly. I don't understand it, but whatever trips his trigger...he leaves August 10 and will plan on being back Aug. 24.

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Baby Info:

Baby has a definite schedule at night, waking around 11:00 and 3:30. I'm very hopeful this schedule continues AFTER birth as well!!! Apparently baby has taken kickboxing lessons at some point because there was quite the show at 3:45 this morning. Baby is also still folded in half as opposed to fetal position, so all the action occurs on my left side. In fact, Carter stayed in this position until his birthday. This baby's slightly more crammed for space with the placental thing so I'm hoping he/she doesn't stay this way, just for peace of mind. Carter could barely move the last three months (go ahead...lie down with your feet by your head and see how well you can kick!), which always made me a little nervous because there were always DAYS inbetween when I could feel him actually move. But, for now, this baby wiggles a bunch...more than I remember with the boys. All's well on the home front.

Proud Mama of an Einstein

Now that we've had a couple of weeks with no sports and only two days of work (that is, until swimming lessons start next week), the boys and I have actually been able to do something besides run from one errand to the next. The first order of business? Making something sugary. I picked up a copy of "Fun Food" and Logan looked at it the whole way home. In fact, he told me he was marking all of the pages of things he'd like to make. By the time we got home, all but about 10 pages of this 100-page magazine were dog-eared. Looks like our grocery bill might be going up!

We decided to start with something simple (and cheap): marshmallow treats. Two large marshmallows on a popsicle stick, covered in melted chocolate and covered in sprinkles. Although the recipe claimed this was good for toddlers because they could participate so much, ours did not look nearly as pretty as the ones in the picture. I'm thinking there was no toddler participation in making THOSE. They were a hit - both after they had chilled and during the entire process. Now we're finding new long lost sprinkles along with the popcorn from last week whenever I sweep the kitchen.

Licking the bowl (or rather, scooping out chocolate with our entire hand) and licking a barely-empty spoon.


Oh, yeah...that's some good chocolate!

Logan preparing for a Picasso moment.

The serious pose of our moustache and goatee.

"Cheeeeeeeeeese"

Carter sporting a similar paint job. The difference is Carter's just happens with eating; Logan's was intentionally put on his face with his own finger!

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On another note, I am learning to "let go" a little as a mother. I have a bit of a paranoia with regard to bears and moose around here. I don't worry so much about myself or Ryan, but I do worry about the boys not responding correctly if they do encounter one of these animals...and that's not a lesson you get to reteach often (how many bear maulings do you really allow to happen before you keep your kid inside???). However, I also recognize that this is something I need to get over or my kids will hate me for requiring one of their parents to chaperone every time they go hiking when they're 15. Sooo, one of the things Logan gets to do in the afternoons when Carter's napping is he gets to ride his bike by himself just on our driveway and into the cul-de-sac at the end of our driveway (so Mommy can still see him). He actually took a piece of chalk and drew a line where he makes himself turn around. So, today, I noticed he was down there, drawing for quite a while, when he came back to the house and asked me how to spell "Hello." I knew what he was doing as we had written "Hello, Paul" (our neighbor) when his truck was parked in the cul-de-sac one day. But, later, when I went down there, he had written much more...

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"Hello Pal Im havin so mach fun Rabo ckumin today."

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Translation: Hello, Paul. I'm having so much fun. A Rainbow is coming today."

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I guess we need to annunciate more: "havin" as opposed to "having"...

Not sure why the "c" is backwards; it never is any other time. Maybe writing extra big is confusing...
"Rainbow"...as above....maybe we need to annunciate

This was my favorite...the "ck" at the beginning of "coming"



Not too shabby for an almost-kindergardener. It's so fun to listen to him read to Carter over the baby monitor at night. I think he's really going to thrive in school this year.

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Baby Info: I'm VERY full ALL OF THE TIME with all this force-feeding protein business and baby is definitely developing a schedule of dancing a little jig at consistent times of the day (and night). The kicking is so fun at this point (before they get strong enough to bruise ribs or knock the wind out of me!). Other than that, nothing new...

Transitions

With the upcoming arrival of another baby as well as having BOTH the boys in school this fall, Ryan and I decided there were a couple of things we wanted Carter to be able to do by the beginning of the school year. We tended to do these things earlier with Logan, but Carter has a real knack for destroying most things he comes into contact with, so we tend to do more for him just to avoid having him create more work for us. Nevertheless, here were his goals:

1. Buckle himself in the car.
2. Wipe himself

The buckling into the car has gone pretty well. He's not as "particular" about things as Logan is/was so his belt tends to get all twisted and after a few times, it eventually is mangled enough that it won't retract and we have to fix it...but all in all, he's doing pretty well. It's funny how something so simple can make a parent feel so "free" in the process of getting into the car.

As for the wiping...we still need LOTS of supervision. He lacks the ability to sit still...and also lacks the comprehension that the things that go INTO the toilet really ought to stay there (as opposed to smeared onto the seat or our legs from all of our wiggling or inattentive wiping). I guess he's doing okay. My motivation is that someday he'll enter the bathroom and I'll be free of hearing "MOOOOMMMM.....I POOOOPPPPPED IN THE POOOOOTTTTTYYYY". I think I can add this to the list of less glamorous aspects of motherhood...especially with this type of child (Logan had no problems here).

So, the other day, I was in my room doing who-knows-what when Carter came in and asked if he could get some gum out of the pantry. I knew this was up too high for him to reach, but he offered to get the stool and get it himself...and as long as I'm trying very hard to not do anything for my children that they can do for themselves (translation: everything now takes 4 X as long as when I did it for them)...I agreed to let him try to do that. I could hear the stool being put down, the cupboard opening and some rustling about...and then CRASH!!!...and I knew the sound I heard was the large container of popcorn hitting the floor...and then proceeding to roll into every square inch of the kitchen. AAaaah, the price of independence. And, of course, the most time consuming aspect was actually getting HIM to clean up the mess rather than ME! Good thing we had nowhere to be that day. It's kind of hard to see in the picture, but there's little yellow dots of popcorn EVERYWHERE. We're still finding a few strays every couple of days.




One of the other things we wanted to do with the boys was to get them moved to their room downstairs. Most of you know that Logan is a bit resistant to change, so I wanted to make this move during the summer. At least we have some daylight so it wouldn't seem so dark...and I wanted them to be used to it before the school routine began. Logan was very tired after 4 half days of preschool this spring and he'll have 5 full days of kindergarten this fall, so I wanted him to be able to sleep well. He was pretty nervous and even weepy the first night, but they read books and chatted for a long time and then settled down. His greatest worry? That "the new baby will get our old bedroom all slobbery." I reassured him that we've had two babies in that room and no obvious signs of slobber. We left a trail of lights on leading to upstairs if needed, but so far we've had two uneventful nights. Right now they're just using our futon mattress on the floor until Ryan has a chance to tear apart the bunkbeds and get them moved down. Logan even told me today that sleeping downstairs is more fun than upstairs.

And for those of you unfamiliar with our part of Alaska...we've had non-stop nice weather this summer. It's frequently in the 70's and we've even gotten above 80 a couple of days. I realize this is no big deal for other states, but it's AWESOME here. Funny how 75 feels HOT to me now (when I lived in Minnesota, I didn't even THINK about wearing shorts until it was 85). So, we had s'mores in the backyard...which also gave great opportunity for shooting their marshmallow gun.

Apparently Daddy needs to go over a few MORE gun safety lessons...as my kid looks directly into the barrel!

Run, Carter, Run!!! (He ate every one he got shot with)

Baby info:

Not much new to report here. Saw the doctor today and baby sounded good and is growing like he/she should. I actually gained 4 pounds since my last appointment 4 weeks ago, which was exciting for me because I NEVER gained that much between appointments with the boys. Maybe eating 3X the normal amount of protein is paying off and I'll have a typical 9-pound Magee baby this time!

I think Carter's getting a bit impatient for this baby to get here. We have explained the two different "methods" by which this baby could arrive...and they both seem much more interested in the c-section (which makes for much less uncomfortable questions to answer). In fact, Carter came in yesterday, let out a big sigh and said "Mommy, when are you going to be cut open???" Poor buggers have a hard time understanding that we don't know HOW or WHEN this baby will arrive...

As for gender, we're still in the dark. Over the past week, I've suddenly had the urge to find out ahead of time...which is odd for me because I've never even had the desire to know ahead of time with either of the boys or earlier in this pregnancy. Maybe it's some sort of weird subconscious thing. There will likely be extra ultrasounds in this pregnancy and I think I'm afraid someone will "spill it" anyway, so I might as well just decide to find out (at least it's on MY terms then...which works for a control-freak planner like me). Funny thing is, both Ryan and I thought we heard Dr. Richey slip and say "he" and I thought I heard Dr. Barton slip up today and say "she."

Just for giggles, I've worked through a few old wive's tales quizzes for gender prediction. So far, they're usually in about the 65-75th percentile that we're having a girl, but here's a few explanations:

1. When I hung a needle over my belly, it swung like a pendulum as opposed to spinning in a circle, which predicts a BOY (it was kinda creepy...it kept picking up speed!)

2. Ryan is NOT gaining weight with me, which predicts a BOY

3. I seem to be carrying high, which predicts a GIRL.

4. The heartrate has been 150-160, which predicts a GIRL.

5. I have been craving salty foods, which predicts a BOY. However, I always crave sweet foods, so I wasn't sure how to answer here. Craving sweets is normal for me; craving salty foods is not.

6. My intuition says I'm having a boy. I thought Logan and Carter were both boys as well, though I had convinced myself Carter was a girl just because his pregnancy was so different from Logan's. And this pregnancy is completely different than the other two...so who knows???

Summary of June

The winner of our latest injury report is Carter. While he was at the sitter's the other day, he and his little buddy were using a sled to go down the slide (something they had done several dozen times the day before). The difference on this day was that the rope on the sled accidentally got around Carter's neck AND the sled got wedged into the slide so we had a bit of a near lynching moment. The pictures don't really do justice, but he had a pretty nasty rope burn along the front of his neck. Good thing his annual check up isn't for another 2 months; I'd hate to explain that one! ...and the rope has now been removed from the sled and all is well.

Logan's last tball game was the last week in June. He really enjoys baseball...and the large helmets on these little kids are hilarious!

Father's day: Logan made a book comparing him to his dad. Apparently Logan's favorite sport is bowling. Who knew, considering he's never bowled (except on the Wii)?!

And for those of you that are aware of Carter's obsession with rocks, he made a rock for daddy that had Carter's picture and "Daddy, you rock" engraved on it.

Fun in the Midnight Sun games in Nikiski. Games were in the rain, so a change of clothes was needed. We were drenched!

Logan running a race with other 5 & 6 year olds.

Carter during his race. He was very sad when he was done, saying "The other kids ran faster than me."

And the latest craze at our house...strategically placing our dirty clothes on the dog when we get dressed in the morning (yes, the underwear is ALWAYS on her head). She's a pretty good sport about it as it gets lots of giggles, but I'm quite sure she's relieved when we leave for the day.




Baby Info.
I’ve had a few friends email me, wondering about some things I posted last time with regard to our little one, so I’m going to try to keep updates at the end of our blog posts (when there’s actually something to update). That way, I’ll hopefully keep those informed that wanted more details without sending the info to those that really aren’t interested and without having to repeat myself too many times. So, if you want to be spared the additional information, you can just skip this part.

Amniotic band syndrome: This is the diagnosis that was ruled out by Dr. Richey (perinatologist in Anchorage). This is usually associated with severe birth defects for those babies that even survive to birth (most do not). Like I said, this is NOT at all a concern for us anymore.

Circumvallate placenta: What this means is that my placenta does not lay flat against the uterus. Instead, the edges curl up towards the center. In my case, they actually curl up and reattach to each other, forming a little shelf. What I meant by this not posing any direct danger to the baby is that the baby cannot become entangled in this in anyway (a question I had). The risk that DOES exist is that this type of placenta is associated with placental abruption and premature labor. This type of placenta is the number one reason babies die during the second trimester, but they didn't tell me how often that actually happens. Placental abruption occurs about 15% of the time with this type of placenta (only 1% with a normal placenta), and when this occurs, the babies die more than half of the time. With those that don’t abrupt, there’s about a 40% prematurity rate. This can range from 3-4 weeks early to 20 weeks early; there’s no way to predict this. Dr. Richey’s nurse said that I’m at an even higher risk for prematurity because both of the boys were early. I’m not sure I agree with that because the boys were early due to my liver complications; I don’t have any reason to believe they would have been early if I hadn’t had the liver problems, but who knows for sure, I guess. Regardless, they’re keeping an eye on me.

The heart condition: First, there is no official heart condition yet – just the potential for there to be one. When looking at the baby’s heart (specifically the left ventricle), there was an additional “wall” formed that reached about 2/3 of the way across. If this closes off to form an additional ventricle, we will be referred to a perinatal cardiologist (baby heart doctor). What this means is that the baby’s heart would function in such a way that the baby would develop congestive heart failure. This can happen within days of birth…or years later. Typically, they do surgery within the first year, depending on the severity of the heart function. It’s actually VERY TREATABLE with surgery. It’s the kids that don’t know they have this that become very ill or don’t survive because when they do become sick, it can often be missed initially and then it becomes “too late” (Who looks for congestive heart failure on a little kid?). That is why we are going back at the end of August. If that “wall” looks the same, then we have nothing to be concerned about and that’s the end of that. I don’t know what the likelihood is of it closing off, given that it stretched across more than half of the ventricle already. In the meantime, baby is fine as he/she gets oxygen from me and not from its’ own heart function.

My usual liver stuff: The intrahepatic cholestasis (liver congestion) that I had with both of the boys will most likely show up again. It repeats 97% of the time. It doesn’t usually start until third trimester. However, it’s usually earlier and more severe each time but I did some dietary and herbal things with Carter and it started 3 weeks later and was much less severe than with Logan. The downside is, my diet to prevent the liver stuff is the opposite of what I’m doing (dietary-wise) to help with the placenta right now. Kind of a trade off, but I figure I have to be concerned with keeping myself pregnant long enough before I need to work on preventing a potential complication towards the end. Babies have anywhere from a 10-30% chance of dying with this, but we already know I develop this and watch for it. They watched me closely at the end of Carter’s pregnancy, which is why they took him early when things didn’t look good anymore.

The good points:
1. Despite a lot of risks right now, the good news is they are JUST RISKS at this point; nothing is actually wrong yet.
2. Circumvallate placenta gets missed often and that’s when tragedies tend to occur. We are fortunate Dr. Barton caught this. We know that if any bleeding occurs, Dr. Richey will be called right away and I would likely go to Providence in Anchorage. For women who aren’t aware of circumvallate placenta, they tend to go to an emergency room when they notice bleeding and are told everything looks fine on ultrasound and they get sent home. We know that won’t be our case. Also, when bleeding does occur, it is often not an emergency that requires the baby be born right away, although that is always a possibility. More often, it means hospital bedrest with constant monitoring, hopefully long enough to get steroids to develop baby’s lungs and then the baby’s born. Also, by knowing we have this going on, they’ve put me on restrictions to reduce my risk (no hiking, no fishing, no jogging, no inpatient work, etc.). Also, I’m thankful I don’t have a kiddo that needs picking up and that I’m not working full time so it’s easier to follow what Dr. Richey says. There is also a high incidence of the umbilical cord only having one vessel (should have three) with circumvallate placenta, but both Barton and Richey have confirmed that our baby’s cord has the normal 3 vessels.

3. If Dr. Barton (my OB) hadn’t picked up on the placental abnormality on ultrasound, we wouldn’t have seen the potential heart condition. This was not visible on Barton's ultrasound but I could see it right away at Dr. Richey’s (before she pointed it out). So, again, we’re aware, which could prevent something not turning out so well. If this develops into something, we would plan on our baby being born in Anchorage, rather than having a baby here and suddenly having a baby that unexpectedly gets ill and an emergency (and stressful) Medivac trip from our local hospital is needed.
4. Baby looks great. He/She is measuring ahead of gestational age and has no signs of anything being wrong and we’re going to assume that will remain the case until something in my body tells me otherwise. I feel more and more movement every few days and as soon as I put Ryan's hand there to feel it, baby goes still (a classic sign of a very healthy (and sneaky) baby).
5. Potential diet help. Like any typical western medicine doctor, Dr. Richey said there was nothing I could do to prevent the likelihood of placental abruption. I don’t really buy that; I think insurance doesn’t pay for prevention of things, therefore, doctors don’t spend a lot of energy learning about and sharing information on prevention. So, I did some research online and mostly found advice like “Stop smoking cigarettes” and “Stop using cocaine” to prevent abruption. So, while I was detoxing from all of my habitual drug use, I also found some information on Dr. Brewer’s diet, which has a lot of research to support its’ claim that there are far fewer placental problems (abruption, preeclampsia, etc.) with women who are on this diet, so I’m giving it a try. Basically it comes down to eating 80-100 mg of protein a day…so I’m now force feeding myself high protein foods every 2 hours. I don’t know if it’ll help, but if it gives me a chance that my placenta will hold on a little tighter, I figure I don’t have anything to lose! Also, because not all of the placenta is attached, the baby often doesn't get all of the nutrients the mom consumes anyway, so if I consume more than normal amounts of protein (which is what "builds a baby"), the baby has the best odds of receiving a lot of protein and "beefing up" a little. I’ve had placental abnormalities all 3 pregnancies, so apparently this is just something my body needs help with.

6. I believe in women's intuition. Up until my 18-week ultrasound with Dr. Barton, I told Ryan I had a really strong feeling this pregnancy and delivery would "go off without a hitch." That's my story and I'm stickin' to it...need I say more?
7. Lastly, the biggest bonus is that all odds are still very much in our favor. The liver condition I develop in pregnancy occurs in 0.5% of women. Circumvallate placenta occurs in 1-2% of women…and somehow I managed to develop something rare all 3 times. So although we have more risks than the normal pregnancy, we still have much greater odds of me going full term with no problems at all. Dr. Barton told me Logan’s conditions in utero “were not compatible with life” (we later found out my placenta had abrupted right at the cord insertion) and Carter “didn’t have one more day in there” and yet they’re both here and just fine, so everything was caught and remedied in time. I believe the same will happen this time as well.

I do not believe anything is happening to this baby that has not passed through God’s hands and His purpose will be served with this, regardless of outcome. It's very true that this is on our mind a lot, but we are not worried. Worry accomplishes nothing other than draining energy. We are hopeful we will still have a November baby, but are mentally prepared for an early baby and time in a NICU. Although that would be very hard on Ryan to manage two little boys and their school schedules alone along with his early work hours, it's something we'd deal with, obviously, if needed. In the meantime, I’m holding off on picking up any baby things just in case. Our possibilities of scenarios of how all this plays out fills the whole range from "perfectly normal" to "tragic".

I hope that helps those of you that seemed to have more questions than answers after my last post. Basically, we pray and we wait. It’s all in God’s hands, which is the best place for it.